Sleep Deprived

I finally got 10 days off from university – which I otherwise had to go to, from 8:00 am until around 11:00 am (1:25 pm on Thursdays) during 15-hour fasts – but I still feel like I’ll never be able to make up the hours of sleep I lost.

Sure, 3 hours a day doesn’t seem like much, but the workload was as heavy as ever (they only reduced each period by 5 minutes, as if that would make a huge difference), and the afternoons just as hot as ever (we can’t afford having the AC on every day – the bill comes to over Rs 20000 if we do), and the evenings just as busy as ever (iftaari), the only time you get to sleep in peace (without having to worry about namaaz) is for around 5 hours before sehri and 2 hours after it. There are days when I’ve had to choose between either getting enough sleep or getting enough nutrition.

This Ramadan truly felt like a test of will and patience, and it’s not over yet. Although university is off, there’s a ton of work that was overlooked in the haze of the previous fasts that does not seem like it’s going to get done any time soon:

  • Creating a functional website from scratch for our department’s technology fair called CACHE, for which it is mandatory for Second and Third Year students to participate. This is made harder by the fact that none of us know anything more than basic HTML haha.
  • Completing any and all editing work for my department’s magazine – prospective launch date: early September – as well as for my university’s quarterly newsletter – the next issue which will be out by the end of this month.
  • Making the documentation required for Pasbaan, an event hosted by a society I’m in at university, and which will be held in mid-August(!).
  • Getting at least one freelancing project done so as to justify the expense of creating my Payoneer card. Though I have enough in it to pay the bill for this year, I kind of have to make up for my crappy grades by at least pitching in with some sort of income, however insignificant and irregular.
  • Studying: I have to copy notes, finish assignments, make flashcards for formulas and definitions, read the chapters of what we have done so far and complete the lab work. All before university reopens on August 4th.
  • Chores; spending quality time with grandparents, mother and siblings; and attending at least every 3rd event in my family since I’m the eldest (and a girl – boy cousins who are eldest siblings get a free pass, because…? They’re so busy hanging out with their friends? Sleeping all day? Farting? God only knows.).

All while being physically disabled, which is definitely having an adverse effect on my mental wellbeing. Yet I still have to hear people tell me I’m not a hard worker, and I will never get a “real” job, and that I should just get married.

Ay mere khuda.

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